Believe it or not, i'm now crying while blogging. Hopped pass his blogg and saw what he said in his tagboard.
Had a big quarrel with him ytd nite. 1yr 2months + most biggest quarrel i think? and also i feel hurt while i'm quarreling. Straight away broke dwn into tears when i saw him scold me ' Moron ' in the msg. It's the 1st time. Ever ever 1st time. Last time no matter how we quarrel he also wont scold me moron one. I guess he really mean everything he said barh. I cried like a dog to make myself tired and fall aslp last nite. But sadly, 4+ woke up and cant get back to my slp anymore. I'm just lying on my bed, starring at the ceiling and thinking. Father then woke up saw me so i told him i cant slp.
6 prepared and went to skool. At that time i'm feeling fine. Aft meeting up with cliques, told Cherlyn : 他昨天骂我 moron ... Haven even finish my sentence my eyes turn waterlish again. Tried hard to hold it back, not to let other ppl see. Back class when nobody notices me, my tears flow dwn again.
Now my eyes are just like a spoiled tap. Anytime anywhr water flows dwn, and once it flows dwn, it is hard to stop. I dunno why i crying and my heart feels really ache when i think of that ' moron ' I though i can just let you go anytime? Or izzit the feelings for me to him is back? I dunno. I need someone to lend me a shoulder or get me drunk seriously. I dun want to be addicted on taking 2 - 4 flu pills to make me slp at nite. Feels terrible when i woke up each time.
I feels like dying, real dying. Start cutting on my hands? Start smoking? Start drinking? Start all my bad things? Will it helps? Even if it's just for that moment, i'm willing to do it.
